It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

I’ve been thinking about and reflecting on the pandemic lockdown in 2020. While many lamented about the limitations of our lives brought on by the pandemic, after the initial shock wore off, I decided to embrace the downtime and embrace a few of the things that were on my “The Things I Wish I Could Do if I Ever Had Time to Actually Do Them” list. Some of the things that brought me solace during that crazy time were …

Podcasts – Because I walked the beautiful Weehawken track every night, I listened to meaningful podcasts each evening.  I say meaningful because I used to listen to crap.  Stupid gossipy, shady podcasts and radio shows. I was craving something better so I started listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, Jay Shetty, Michelle Obama … anything that could feed my spirit. And it’s not that I didn’t enjoy a good laugh here or there but most of that content is so messy that it’s impossible for it not to infiltrate your spirit.  I’m convinced.  Have you ever thought about what you are allowing into your life?

Exercise – Because our options were so limited, I found that I needed to get out of the house.  And while I did everything to make it cozy and inviting, I needed some Vitamin D so I started riding my bike every day. There is something so freeing about riding a bike.  I felt like a kid. I also purchased a Bowflex indoor bike that I love and I have a row machine also which I think is one of the most solid workouts out there.  I downloaded the Alo Moves app, which I also love.  The workouts did the most in the least amount of time. But my favorite workout were my daily walks along the Hudson River.  It is one of the most beautiful locations you will ever see and it has the most gorgeous view of New York City (one of the upsides of living in New Jersey. My body got better body because of this downtime.

The Home Spa – Early on (with my favorite spas shut down), I decided to turn my bathroom into a makeshift spa. I started taking long baths with all kinds of oils and salts (more on this later).  I purchased ivory towels, rugs and shower curtains and added lots of vanilla candles.  I invested in a cushioned bath mat and pillow (worth every penny). I started giving myself facials using my mini steamer and various masks and tonics. I used lavish conditioners on my hair and sat under the hair dryer for extended periods of time. I perfected my mani/pedi. I pulled out my waterpik to take better care of my teeth. Instead of lotions, I started using natural oils and butters (shea, almond, avocado, olive) on my skin. Everything was indulgent (and inexpensive)

Meditation – I started reading a lot more and all of the books that I gravitated to delved into the importance of meditation in our lives. Before, I was always too busy to meditate.  My mind couldn’t slow down.  My mind couldn’t get still.  I’m still not great at it but I have created a space in my home where I have committed to doing it each day.  I have mantras and calming, loving, powerful affirmations that I tell myself.  And I pray. I pray for people I know and the things that I will do, have and experience.  Mostly, I am learning to practice gratitude. I am so thankful for this life.  I haven’t always felt this way … better late than never. (Calm and Ten Percent Happier are great apps)

Connections and Disconnections – During the quarantine, it really made me think about who I give my time to.  It was great to connect with some and to disconnect with others. While many desperately grasping at anybody and everybody to make connections, I was the opposite. I think that connections should be meaningful. There are some people that have completely fallen off and frankly, that has been a relief. Sometimes, people linger in our lives because we are bored or we are complacent.  But I started to ask – What does this person bring to my life?  Who matters?  I also respect that you don’t have to talk to people that are close to you all of the time to remain close. I still cherish the people I have known the longest. I am here for them always and I know they are here for me as well. I’m hope to be a better friend.

Reading – I read so much while in quarantine and I’m so glad because it truly is one of my favorite pastimes. Normally, I was always too busy but I download books all of the time or buy them at the one Barnes & Noble I still know of or through Amazon. I’m notorious for starting a book but not finishing it. But during quarantine, I read books (and finished them).  I turned off Netflix and I sat with wine or coffee or water or whatever and I read my books.  There will be some books that I still won’t finish because I know me. 

Cooking – I made some amazing recipes, like shortbread (who knew it was so easy), blueberry bread, banana nut bread (me and everybody else), chocolate cake, shrimp fried rice (mine is better than the restaurant version), soups, quiches and so much more.  I loved cooking.  I just didn’t love cleaning up. I even found recipes that my grandmother gave my mother.  I am working on making this a book to share with my family. There is something about making food from scratch.  It feels loving to my body and it tastes so much better. 

The Purge – I got rid of so much crap that I didn’t even realize that I had. I started with my bedroom closets, then my dresser drawers and my night stand, then my bathroom cabinet, then under my bed, then the storage in the two ottomans in my living room, then the second bathroom cabinets and then the drawers and closet in my son’s room, then all of the cabinets in the kitchen, then to laundry closet, then the coat closet, then the bookshelf and then my desk, then my car …. I had no idea how many things I was holding on to. I donated so many wonderful, useful things, that I was no longer using, to Goodwill (now I sell things on Mercari).  It felt so good to de-clutter.  One of the most daunting, but necessary, things that I de-cluttered was my filing cabinet.  My entire life was in there.  I got rid of old mortgage and car loan papers, old billing statements and career information – just clutter that I no longer needed.  De-clutter your life – you will be so glad that you did.

Doing Nothing – Honestly, I’m awful at this. I have this weird need to make the most out of every day. I have always felt that this was a bit too indulgent for me and felt like a gratuitous waste of time. Like how dare me not make the most of every single day. I can’t waste sunshine! But what I realized was that making the most out of every day doesn’t mean each day has to consist of ticking things off my To Do list. I still haven’t mastered this but I have been taking a few hours in the evenings to veg out, watch tv, daydream, talk on the phone or literally do nothing. Do this.  I recommend this.  Your soul and your mind need downtime. 

Getting Outside – I rode my bike all over the place … all up and down the Hudson River, all through the streets of Hoboken, Weehawken, Edgewater and Fort Lee.  I spent so much time on the waterfront, several piers and parks.  I hiked and walked many newfound trails and explored nearby towns.

Doctor G. – I finally, finally, finally took the time to find a therapist. I had a therapist years ago but honestly, she didn’t help me. I laid on a sofa in a dark room and she listened and took notes while I talked.  I stopped going. But for years, I said that I needed a therapist – I believe that therapy is an essential part of taking good care of yourself.  I procrastinated because I didn’t have time to find one.  Other people would talk to me about their therapists and how beneficial they were to their lives and I kept a note in my phone about finding one.  After seeing an article on Essence.com about virtual therapy, I decided to do some digging and through multiple steps, at last, I landed on Dr. G.  We met virtually weekly and I can’t tell you what a Godsend she was during the quarantine.  It was restorative to be able to talk to her about all the crazy things happening in the world. If you are contemplating getting a therapist. Do it. You will be better for it.

Time with My Son – This one is the best thing that happened during quarantine … My beautiful Carson came to New Jersey during the pandemic – I managed to get him on a flight.  The strategy was to get him in the first seat in first class next to the windows.  At that point, no one was flying so it felt somewhat safe.  Even so, his dad and I made sure he was covered from head to toe and I asked him not to breathe during the entire flight.  When I picked him up at the Newark International Airport, he was the only person standing at the baggage claim and I didn’t even recognize him because he was so covered up.  The parking lot was empty and it truly felt like the end of the world. I remember we had an epic summer planned but everything got cancelled. But oddly, we weren’t too bummed because we had each other.  We got home and quarantined accordingly.  We spent many days just going to a park in Fort Lee and reading books, playing video games or listening to music. I purchased outdoor blankets so that we could each have one and chairs as well. I dusted off my picnic basket and we would take all kinds of snacks to the park.  We spent real time together and had meaningful conversations.  I got to really listen to him in perfect stillness. He stayed with me until mid-September because his school was remote and I wanted to spend his birthday with him.  I’ll admit, there were stressful moments – it’s not easy being confined to home when you are used to exploring all summer long but it felt so good just loving on my kid. When will we ever have that kind of time with our children again? He is college now. And yes, I did sympathize with those that had small children and didn’t get a break.