Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?  It’s the opening line of Lana Del Ray’s ethereal, beautiful, yet haunting song. Although the lyrics get stronger as the song goes on, it’s that opening line that captures my attention every time. I wonder if men ever ponder this. Doubt it.  That line lingers because I think in our culture, we celebrate youth, putting it on a pedastal, hanging onto it desperately, while we simultaneously detest and fear aging – with that same intense desperation. 

We’ve all heard how women lament about how as we age, we start becoming invisible and men don’t notice us anymore. On reality shows, one of the biggest insults is to call another woman old.  And in our own realities we are cagey about revealing our age ( well because we know we will be judged).  A lot of these issues are caused by society at large, particularly American society where people start to fret about their age in their TWENTIES. I get super annoyed when women consistently and repeatedly call themselves old – way before they are actually old (when does one become old – officially?).  They will say, “We’re old.” I never agree because frankly, I don’t feel old. I think some people want to group everyone that is in their same age group as old as well.  I think calling yourself old signifies giving up – you stop wanting to look good or feel good (because next comes all of the complaints about the aches and pains and not feeling good). It’s also an excuse to decline trying anything new or doing anything interesting. Something about calling yourself old feels like throwing in the towel on the excitement of life.  Who says that excitement, adventure, passion and fun are reserved for people in their twenties – the same people who already think they are old?  It’s preposterous.

Please stop forcing people of a certain age into a box.  If you feel like you are old, be your old self and wither away somewhere, but let the people who are still living and thriving enjoy the gift of life – every sing day of it.  As we get older, women have to rebel against the antiquated ideas about aging. We must work harder to take care of ourselves so that we feel and look good (for ourselves).  We must find things that bring us true joy; we should do better because we should know better by now. Instead of lamenting getting older, be proud that you made it this far. If we are lucky, we will all get to grow old gracefully.

Find women your age or older that inspire you (whether you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond). Accept that you are older and more interesting (hopefully). Stop wishing for what was and embrace right where you are. You already did all of the things you did when you were young – and I hope you enjoyed every bit of it (honestly, some of those things I never want to see or experience again … been there, done that).

Women get more amazing, beautiful, intelligent and sexy as we age – you just have to believe that. I hope you will still love YOU even when you are no longer young (in age, but at heart) and beautiful. I know you will.