Are you ever impacted by crippling doubt?  I am. It’s bizarre because people always think I am super confident. The funny thing is that I feel confident – until I don’t. The strange thing is that little voice of uncertainty creeps up on me at the weirdest times. Usually anything that has to do with public speaking or driving over bridges in recent years. I’m not sure where fear comes from or why it surfaces. There is this nagging self-doubt that causes crippling agita. 

I spoke with a college student recently who told me that she suffers from imposter syndrome. I was struck by this because she is so young. I guess this isn’t too unusual because we receive these messages that we aren’t good enough our entire lives – especially women, particularly women of color and even more so, Black women. It was sad though to hear that from a young lady attending an Ivy League university. She wondered if she belonged at her university. She wondered if she was a product of affirmative action (despite making top tier grades and having participated in all of the sought-after extracurricular activities). She rightfully earned her spot at that university – she is a star and will one day (if she can navigate the hurdles of discrimination and bias so deeply woven into the fabric of American culture) play an important role in leading this country, if not this world. She is by far one of our best and brightest, but she is unsure of that … sadly. I did my best to affirm her which is a part of our jobs as those who have already traveled the path that the younger people are now on. I could go into how I feel about affirmative action and why it is imperative, and the devastating effect the Supreme Court’s ban on affirmative action will have on many deserving, brilliant, competitive, amazing people of color, but that’s not what this post is about today. In short, it’s appalling and racist – and based in fear, but I digress.

As for self-doubt, I truly do think that it is the things that we are frightened of, are ultimately the things that challenge us that make us better. So many of these seeds of self-doubt are planted when we are growing up and for some reason, we nurture them and believe them, giving them power that they don’t deserve. They affect our professional progress and our relationships with people we love (or shouldn’t love). I suggest that if you cannot shake self-doubt and it is affecting your life, try talking to someone about it, and if you don’t trust anyone in your life to discuss these issues, please find a therapist. Therapy is medicine and a form of self-love. The right therapist can help you work through any crippling self-doubt, fears or challenges.  Do whatever healthy methods (meditation, exercise, acupuncture, massage therapy) you can do to quell your self-doubt to unlock the power within. Love yourself enough to tackle what stifles you.  I started this blog post planning to discuss another topic, but it organically took a turn into talking about self-love and taking care of you. Self-doubt really is a bully that is working to diminish your light with false messaging, instilling fear. With the right support and affirmation, you will defeat self-doubt and realize that you are fucking amazing … and that you had the power all along sis. Never doubt that.